Thursday, January 31, 2013
Josh vs Bug Self Ownership
An example of teaching self ownership, and respect of others' bodies, to an 8 year old- Josh is 8 years old, and Bug is 23 months. Josh- Bug! Don't do that! ... Me- Josh, he is his own person, you don't have the right to tell him what to do. ... ... ... ... ... Josh- Bug, come here! (pulling Bug by the hand) Me- Josh, you did not ask permission to touch him like that. Stop pulling him. ... ... ... ... Josh- Bug, let's go play outside. (picks Bug up around the waist and carries him outside) Me- Josh, he owns his body, you can't just pick him up and carry him where you want him to go like that. If he wants to go out he can walk. ... ... ... ... ... Josh- Bug, time to come inside! Get inside! Come inside Bug! Me- Josh, he doesn't have to come in just because you're done playing outside. He is his own person. ... ... ... ... Josh- Bug! Get off of there! Me- Josh, he's not climbing on any of your stuff. You don't have the right to tell him not to. He is his own person. ... ... ... ... ... Josh- Bug, do this, over here, come do this! (Bug doesn't want to.) Come on, come on, over here! Me- Josh, he clearly doesn't want to. You need to respect his decision for what he wants to do. He is his own person. ... ... ... ... It is difficult right now for Josh to understand that Bug really is his own person and not his own personal play mate. Remember, the concept of self ownership is just as new to Josh as it is to us, we only started on this about a year ago. He had 7 years of authoritative parenting first. Bug is still small enough that Josh can physically manipulate him, and Bug doesn't know how to assert himself effectively yet. In the meantime, its my job to protect his rights for him. It honestly feels like I'm reminding Josh a million times every day, but I do see progress. He is asking Bug questions and for permissions more often. We're getting there.See More "