Not Getting My Way

When conflicts arise in our house, the goal is for the parties involved to negotiate and come to a mutually beneficial agreement. Papa and I didn't grow up in this type of environment, so we're learning right alongside the kids.

It is honestly one of the HARDEST things for me to start the negotiation process without thinking I should get my way in the end. I am bigger. I am older. My wants are more important. My ideas are better. Stomp Stomp. Adult temper tantrum.

Breaking these lines of thinking is HARD. It takes literally rewiring our brains. It is important to me to break this cycle for my children, and so I keep trying to do better to teach and model skills which will benefit them. I have a little mantra I say to myself to try and snap myself out of my tantrums. "He is a person too. Just because he is younger and smaller doesn't mean his wants or needs are any less important than mine. His wants and needs are equal to mine, perhaps even more important as he is out of control of so many aspects of his life, whereas I am not."

This usually clears my head and we can begin finding a way to make everyone happy.