Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Fighting Impulses

I grew up in a very argumentative family. Nothing I ever said or did was taken for truth without being questioned and inspected. My dad was "never wrong", and to this day has never admitted anyone has been "more right" than he was.

Though I haven't talked to my dad more than 3 times a year for the last 5 or so years, this still has an impact on how I parent my boys.

When Josh (8y) says something as simple as, "This box of q-tips is almost empty." I compulsively think, "No its not! I need to check." This is seriously something my dad would have said and done. And that's something insignificant, really, so now imagine my gut reaction to bigger things.

We've been working on changing our parenting for over a year now, yet still I fight this impulse on a daily basis. I have it much more under control now. I recognize what's going on in my mind and why. An outsider, even a close friend, likely wouldn't recognize the effort that goes into a simple statement like, "Okay honey, I'll put it on the shopping list." Our childhood experiences are deeply rooted and take time to work through. We keep on taking it one day at a time.

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