Wednesday, February 26, 2014

On Compromise and Negotiation

I hear chatter in parenting groups. Frustration that kids won't cooperate or comply with a request unless it's on "their terms". 

I think it's important to remember we are living with OTHER PEOPLE. Children aren't pets or robots, they are people. How much of their lives have they been living according to OUR TERMS? How would you feel if your roommate, partner, or spouse wanted everything done on their terms and didn't take your needs, wants, or preferences into consideration?

I think it is easy to feel like if we, as parents, aren't getting 100% our way we are "losing" or "giving in" or doing things "on the kids' terms". That's a lose-lose mentality. When living with our kids, just as living with any other person, there needs to be give and take, compromise and negotiation, in all situations.

And we need to remember they are learning how to compromise, negotiate, and take others' needs, wants, and feelings into consideration from the example we set with them.

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