Thursday, January 16, 2014

Sometimes I Miss Routine

I'd be lying if I said I don't sometimes miss the way life used to be.

Used to every week day I got up at the same time, went to my job for 8 hours, sent Josh to school for 8 hours, came home and did our same evening routine. Monday we always ate spaghetti. Every night we watched Wheel of Fortune while we ate. Thursdays we watched Big Bang Theory. Saturday we always had breakfast at The Waffle House, went out to do something fun, and had sundaes for dessert. Sunday we got groceries, did laundry, and frantically prepared for another week of exactly the same thing.

Exactly. the. same. thing. Week after week. There was something comforting about that routine.

Now of course each day is a new adventure. How late will the kids sleep today? Off to where will the course of curiosity sweep us? And laundry just once a week? Yeah, I wish. Questions like "What is really in this food?" and "How are we going to pay for this new interest on one income?" or "How can I record what we're doing now into school terms IN CASE someone ever comes to audit us?" never used to cross my mind. Nowadays my mind is reeling with questions, constantly. It sometimes feels overwhelming.

I mentioned this all to Papa the other day, how sometimes I wish we could go back to the old days.

"Yeah, but we weren't going anywhere. We weren't growing. And we weren't happy."

Indeed. We were static. Stagnating.

Those words certainly don't describe life now. We are constantly doing, exploring, going, questioning, discovering, wondering and learning. Not just about the world around us, but also about the world inside us. We are becoming the best versions of us we can be, free versions. Every step into uncharted territory helps us grow, makes us a little better, a little happier. Makes our family a little more joyful, and in our own small way, makes the world a little better. When I remember that I don't miss the old days any more.

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