I don't often talk about this here, but I am divorced. My ex-husband is Josh's biological father. We split up when Josh was just a toddler, and Papa adopted him after we got married. Neither Josh nor I have had any contact with my ex or his family for 6 years.
Until yesterday. I received an email from my ex's brother, Josh's uncle. He has children and he would like them to have a relationship with Josh. I could make this post all about how we handled the request, and maybe later on I will, but the conclusion is Josh is uninterested in meeting them. For this post I want to focus on what happened afterward.
For the rest of the day my mind reeled with memories of how things used to be, with my ex and his family, and how things could have been if I'd stayed. Obviously they weren't good memories or thoughts, we split up for a reason. All day my mind was filled with these things.
Then Papa came home from work. Bug jumped up and down excitedly at the door. Josh ran across the house and threw himself into Papa's arms. You'd better believe I appreciated that moment ten times more than I usually do! Later I happened to catch a glimpse when Josh was playing a music box, just staring into space while turning the little dial, looking so young, so innocent, so content, so happy enjoying the song. I drank that moment in for all it was worth. I noticed Bug, in all his innocent, un-oppressed glory, never knowing in his 3 years of life any of the horrors Josh had been exposed to by such age. I kissed Papa a little longer last night. Hugged him a little tighter. Told him how much he means to me once more than usual.
Nothing about my life or my family changed yesterday. Everyone was acting as they always do. What changed was my appreciation of them, and I was more happy.
"Happiness is a discipline. Happiness is a remembrance of everything we're going to lose, and an appreciation of it while we still have it." - Stefan Molyneux
Until yesterday. I received an email from my ex's brother, Josh's uncle. He has children and he would like them to have a relationship with Josh. I could make this post all about how we handled the request, and maybe later on I will, but the conclusion is Josh is uninterested in meeting them. For this post I want to focus on what happened afterward.
For the rest of the day my mind reeled with memories of how things used to be, with my ex and his family, and how things could have been if I'd stayed. Obviously they weren't good memories or thoughts, we split up for a reason. All day my mind was filled with these things.
Then Papa came home from work. Bug jumped up and down excitedly at the door. Josh ran across the house and threw himself into Papa's arms. You'd better believe I appreciated that moment ten times more than I usually do! Later I happened to catch a glimpse when Josh was playing a music box, just staring into space while turning the little dial, looking so young, so innocent, so content, so happy enjoying the song. I drank that moment in for all it was worth. I noticed Bug, in all his innocent, un-oppressed glory, never knowing in his 3 years of life any of the horrors Josh had been exposed to by such age. I kissed Papa a little longer last night. Hugged him a little tighter. Told him how much he means to me once more than usual.
Nothing about my life or my family changed yesterday. Everyone was acting as they always do. What changed was my appreciation of them, and I was more happy.
"Happiness is a discipline. Happiness is a remembrance of everything we're going to lose, and an appreciation of it while we still have it." - Stefan Molyneux
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