Monday, May 5, 2014

An update to my struggles with raising a 3 year old.

Apparently being 3 is really hard, because lately everything upsets Bug. Everything. Last weekend we had a rough time. Even with Papa home helping, we were both at our wits end. I'm typically parenting alone during the week, and when times get rough I want to just crawl in a corner and cry over a pint of ice cream (which I don't have and would necessitate a trip to the store, which I am too fearful to brave with said 3 year old when times are rough). I thought I'd exhausted all the book tricks. I spent time with him outside. He's eating. I just didn't know what to do to help him through.

For example, he wants 'the last piece of chicken' but he forgot he already ate it. One morning he was pissed that it wasn't snowing and then again pissed that I couldn't make it cold. Josh will say he loves me and Bug yells 'no you don't love her, I love her!' His uncle was dancing and he yells 'he doesn't dance, I dance!'

All. Day. Long.

I want to say, "Dude, chill. For real."

I *know* that it gets better; I have the nine year old to prove it. But I didn't do the whole peaceful approach last time around so this is new territory. I want to be there for him, help him through his feelings and all that, but when he gets upset because the traffic lights turn green I can't help but feel annoyed.

Anywho, recently I was reminded of a section in Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn which talked about the ratio of good interactions to bad interactions between parents and kids. There was a 'golden number', for every bad interaction you should have at least (I'm guessing the number) 12 good interactions (I will continue to look for the actual study).

Looking back at recent weeks I've been trying to get a lot of things done around the house and the yard and running errands. Most everything I was saying to Bug was commands. "You need to put on shoes." "We need to get in the car." Etc. without enough balance.

So the last few days I've consciously talked more with him about what he was up to, snuggled, and played more. It made a huge difference! Much better days.

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