Josh's thoughts on Santa

An older kid's perspective on Santa- Earlier in the car... Josh (8y)- I hope I get a new bike for Christmas. ... Me- I hope you get something you like. Josh- Moooom, I know you're the ones buying the presents. Me- Yeah, I know. What about for your little brother? Do you think we should tell him Santa brings gifts or should we tell him the truth? Josh- Well, he's too little right now to remember. Me- What about with you? Do you think it was right for Daddy and I to tell you Santa was real when you were younger? Josh- Like when I was four? I did believe in Santa back then, and I guess it was fun, but its never right to tell lies.See More

"Mom, do you ever spank me?"

Josh ( 8 ) just ran inside from playing in the backyard with a friend. Josh- "Mom! Do you ever spank me?" Me- "no....." ... J- "See, I told you!" Friend- "But, but he said he wants to chop up that piece of wood with the axe!" Me- "Ok....Well Josh, you'll have to wait for Daddy to get home to ask his permission to use his axe." J- "Yeah, I know." Friend is looking very puzzled. J- "I told you, nobody spanks me or Bug. My mom doesn't, my dad doesn't. Nobody hits anybody. Everybody owns their own bodies." Not gonna lie, it made me so proud to watch him spreading the ideas of liberty.See More

Call an Apple an Apple

Children learn how to live the same way they learn language. How do they learn language? By hearing us consistently call an apple an "apple". We don't have to say, "You'd better call this object an apple!" We just have to be consistent in our language and they will pick it up, almost involuntarily. How do they learn respect, manners, empathy, etc? By watching us consistently be respectful, well mannered, empathetic, etc. We don't have to say, "You'd better be respectful!" We just have to be consistent in our behavior and they will pick it up, almost involuntarily.

Bread Recipe Math Session

Another episode of Delicious Math- Lately I have been on the quest for THE perfect bread recipe. One recipe I wanted to try made four loaves. I only wanted to make one to try, so we go about dividing all the measurements. Me- Alright, this says 2/3 cup of honey. We need to divide that by 4. How much do we need? ... Josh (8)- Ummm.... M- How do you go about dividing your sandwiches into fourths? J- I cut it in half one way, then in half the other way. M- Ok, so lets do the same here. Cut it in half once, then in half again. If we have 2/3 what would half of that be? J- 1/3. Because you have 2 pieces so half would be 1. M- Right, now what is half of 1/3? J- Hmmmm, I don't know. Fill up the third measuring cup only half way? M- Well yes, that would work. I bet you can figure the math out too. When you cut your sandwich in half how many pieces do you have? J- 2. M- And when you cut those pieces in half how many do you have? J- 4. M- And when you cut those pieces in half how many do you have? J- 8. M- Do you see the pattern? Now if you had cut your sandwich in thirds you would have 3 pieces. If you cut those pieces in half how many pieces would you have? J- 6. M- So you cut 1/3 in half to make 2/6. So what is half of 1/3? J- 1/6!

Time Alone with Papa

Many, many things happened this weekend that sparked ideas for posts here. But there is only one I am going to share right now, and by the end of this you will understand why I'm only posting one. It was Friday night. Bug was in bed all a snooze, Josh was watching tv, Papa Bear was doing paperwork, and I was perusing the internet for bread recipes. Papa Bear travels a lot for work, and even when home works looooong hours. We don't get much time together. Sometime around 10 I asked Josh to go to bed. Josh- Aren't you guys coming to bed too? Me- No, I want to stay up and spend some time with Daddy. Josh- But I don't want to go to bed alone. I'm going to be lonely. I want you to come with me. Me- No dude. We're staying up. I haven't seen Daddy all week. I want to spend some time with him. Josh- Well I haven't seen him all week either! I want to spend time with him too. Me- Josh, we just want some private time together, okay? Please go to bed, we'll be in later. Josh- Fine! I'm going to go to bed and I'm NEVER coming out! You can probably see that I wasn't doing a good job of addressing the needs under his words. I was being selfish until that last line snapped me out of it. He was really hurt, so I went into the bedroom to talk to him about it. Me- Hey, I can see you're upset. Do you want to talk about it? Josh- No! Me- *sits down next to his bed* Josh- Don't touch my bed. You don't have permission to touch my bed. Me- Sorry. *backs up* What's going on? Josh- Nothing. I don't want to talk about it! Me- I said or did something that upset you, didn't I? Josh- Hmmph. Me- Do you understand why I want to spend time with Daddy? He's my best friend. I don't see him as much as I'd like to, so when he is home I want to be sure to spend as much time with him as I can. Josh- Yeah, but I don't get to see him either. I know you see me more than Daddy. But when you see me you're always busy. You work too much. You always want to clean the house before Daddy gets home, and then after Daddy leaves you want to clean again. And then you have to go to the store and do other things and work on the computer. You're always too busy and you never spend time with me. Me- Okay, so you're saying you want me to spend more one-on-one time with you? (You may remember from an earlier post, that bedtime is usually our best one-on-one time with Josh, so he is understandably upset that we wanted to take that from him.) Josh- Yes. Me- Do you understand that the cleaning and errands are things that have to be done? If I never clean the house or go shopping we wouldn't have anything to eat, and the house would get filthy. We'd get sick if we lived like that. Its not healthy. Maybe you could clean up with me so its done faster? And we'd be doing it together. Josh- No, I don't want to clean. Me- That's fine, but you understand it has to be done, right? It would be irresponsible of me to let the house get filthy like that. Josh- I know.... but I just am not into cleaning. Me- And that's fine. That's my job as the parent to take care of those things. So I can't stop doing the housework, but I could do less work on the computer. That would give us more time together. Josh- That sounds good. Me- But I do need some time on there. How about I'll only work on the computer first thing in the morning, and while you're outside with you're friends? Would that work for you? Josh- Yes. Me- Okay. It's an agreement. *shakes pinky fingers with Josh* I'm going to go watch some tv with Daddy now. Do you want to come out with us? Josh- No, its okay. I'm sleepy. Me- Alright. We'll be to bed soon. Can I give you a hug? Josh- No. Me- A kiss? Josh- No. Me- Okay. I love you Buddy. Josh- Love you too.

One-Way Relationships

I'm mulling some things over in my head right now, so please forgive my brain dump. Relationships. Usually they go two ways. Each party has to give a little. But relationships with children are different. If we want to have a good relationship with our kids, we have to do all the giving for quite a while before we can reasonably expect to "get anything back." ... And even then, what we get back isn't what another adult would give us. My sons won't quietly sit with me doing something I enjoy the same way my husband might. Instead, what I "get back" are smiles, giggles, witnessing them grow and learn, sweet snuggles, and building the foundation of our relationship. I won't force my boys to spend time with me, nor will I force them to spend time with anyone. I don't want them to resent time with me. I want our time together to be voluntary, and our relationships to be genuine. I want a good relationship with them, so I choose to put in the effort to do things they enjoy with them. Yes, this means that for a while I will spend a lot of time doing things that wouldn't necessarily be my first choice. But I'm finding I have more fun than I expected, because the boys are happy, which makes me happy.See More

Life Long Love of Learning

Often when one is considering homeschooling, or has just started homeschooling, there is the question of, "how will I know if I'm doing it right?" Ask yourself, in everything you do with your kids, "Does this encourage a life long LOVE of learning?" If you can answer yes, then you're doing it right