A Cartoon About Projections

One of the hardest parts of parenting is letting go of our own negativity and hurt, and not projecting ourselves onto our children. It is not easy, but it can make a tremendous difference in how you view your child, how you react to them, and what kind of relationship you develop together.

For example, we can choose to project negative motives onto a child making a mess, or we can choose to see the world through their eyes. Everything to them is new and amazing, and the way they figure out how the world works is to manipulate objects and learn from the outcomes. (forgive the drawing, I am no artist)

Blueberry Martians

I get short on patience sometimes, especially on rough days when bedtime is nearing. Like right now.

Bug is currently in love with being wrapped in towels and blankets. He wants to layer yet another blanket on. I'm over it. Josh steps in and wraps him up.

 Bug wants a blueberry muffin ("martian" in toddler talk), but his arms are under the blanket. Um, seriously? No... Then Josh says, "Its okay, Mom, we can wash it."

And I said, "You know what? You're right." I just let it go and enjoyed the uber cuteness that was my little Bug, wrapped in blankets, eating blueberry martians. :)

Manners vs Obedience

We don't want our children to be obedient, but we do want them to be respectful, kind, and well mannered. So, what is the difference between being obedient and being respectful?

It is all about the "How" and the "Why".

How are you teaching your children to be respectful, kind, and well mannered? If you are being respectful, kind, and well mannered yourself they are learning by your example.

If y...ou are talking with them about the reasons you yourself are respectful, kind, and well mannered they develop an understanding of how mutual respect and kindness is beneficial to themselves and those around them.

If, however, you are not teaching by example and reason; if you are instead just telling them to be respectful, they will see the hypocrisy.

Why are they acting respectful, kind, or well mannered? Is it genuine? Or is it a show, simply to gain your approval or avoid your wrath? Putting on a show is being obedient. We don't want our children to be obedient

Free Napkins

Josh and I are out, and he needs to use the restroom. We go to the women's. Immediately upon walking in he stares at the tampon dispenser, puzzled. "25 cents for a napkin?! They have got to be kidding! Seriously, there are paper towels right there for free.

Why We Don't Force Teeth Brushing

We're all "grown ups" here, right? Remember the time in your life when you were finally on your own? Finally FREE? Maybe it was when you went to college, or when you moved to your own apartment, or whatever. That moment when YOU were in charge of yourself.

Did you brush your teeth? Why? Because someone had drilled it into you day after day that this was what you were supposed to do? Or because y...our teeth felt like they were wearing sweaters if you didn't? Or because people didn't like talking to you with bad breath?

Did you shower? Why? Because someone had drilled it into you day after day that this was what you were supposed to do? Or because you wanted to be clean? Or because you didn't want that guy/gal you like to be offended by your stench?

 Did you eat healthy because someone drilled it into you (you get it)...? Or did you eventually learn that you feel like crap and get all jiggly when you eat too much junk?

Did you spend your money wisely because someone drilled it into you....? Or did you learn the hard way what it means to be broke?

Did you waste a few years being "freedom drunk" before you started being the person you are today? I know I did.

Why then, don't we all let our kids learn these lessons for themselves while they are still kids? While the consequences for making mistakes and learning lessons are pretty minor. Before they are out in the world on their own, making mistakes and learning lessons that can have major, life-long consequences. Why don't we spare them the wasted years figuring it out when they're grown and let them figure life out now?

GandK Kid Paint

Josh is feeling majorly math-y today! He's playing GandK Kid Paint on Roku (which I find dreadfully boring, but he digs it) drawing shapes. He asks me why his pentagon looks funny. It wasn't symmetrical. Which opened a conversation about symmetry and the imaginary "line of symmetry".

So he's got a pentagon, hexagon, and octagon going. He asks what else he can make, so I tell him he's missing a septagon (which I've now learned is more commonly called a heptagon). We pull up a picture on google, and one of the images shows the measures of each angle. That sparks another conversation about degrees, circles being 360, right angles being 90, how any closed shape's angles will add together to 360, etc. Then he asks, "What's a shape with 9 (10,11,12...) sides called?" and proceeds to draw those as well.

What I've learned from all this- 1. There's no "right" age to learn anything. In public school geometry isn't taught til, what, high school? Certainly not at age 7. 2. Unschooling is not for the lazy parent. 3. Higher level learning can spark from the unlikeliest of situations. 4. Google is my friend. :)

Do Not Disturb

Do Not Disturb-

 A couple weeks ago, the boys were playing as usual. Josh was playing with Bug's trains and decided to take some of the battery powered ones apart. He stood at the counter like this for a good two hours, totally focused on what he was doing. Even though I imagine sitting at a table under better light would have been more comfortable, and those two hours stretched past his usual bedtime, I didn't dare disturb him. He was in the zone, figuring out how the trains worked, even taking apart the tiny motors. Times like this are when the best learning happens, the kind that really sticks in their brains. And not only was it an exercise for his mind, it was great for his fine motor skills as well (those screws are tiny!).

In a traditional school setting kids aren't given the opportunity to really dive into something like this, to concentrate, explore, and discover uninterrupted. At best they get 45 minutes before a bell rings and they are being shuffled off to another subject, and being asked to concentrate on that for 45 minutes before it happens again. It's very unnatural and counterproductive to the learning process.